ERAP JOKES RELIVED - 3

LOCAL sa Malacañang

A cub reporter was complaining about the President's accessibility to the media.

Talking to another veteran media man, he said it is harder now to get through The President compared to those days when he was still Mayor, Senator and even Vice President.

The media man said, "Pare, hindi totoo yan! In fact they have installed a very sophisticated telephone system over at Malacanang. All you need to do is lift the handset and presto you can talk to the President anytime."

"Really?" said the amused reporter and hurriedly ended the conversation. "O, sige pare, thank you sa tip ha? Tatawag na kaagad ako sa Presidente!"

And so the reporter got hold of a telephone and dialed the Malaca�ang number, and this is what he heard:

"GOOD MORNING, YOU HAVE REACHED THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT. IF YOU WISH TO TALK TO HIM IN TAGALOG, PLEASE PRESS 1.

IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM IN FILIPINO, PLEASE PRESS 2.

IF YOU INSIST ON TALKING TO HIM IN ENGLISH, PLEASE HANG UP AND DON'T CALL AGAIN!"

That didn't dampen the spirit of the persistent reporter. He dialed the number again and followed the instruction by pressing 1 for Tagalog, and this is what he heard:

"MAGANDANG UMAGA PO, ANG INYONG TAWAG AY NAKARATING SA TANGGAPAN NG PANGULONG ERAP.

SA KASAWIANG PALAD, SIYA AY KASALUKUYAN PANG NATUTULOG. KUNG MAYROON KAYONG IBANG NAIS MAKAUSAP, SUNDIN ANG MGA SUMUSUNOD:

PINDUTIN ANG ISA PARA SA UNANG ASAWA.

PINDUTIN ANG DALAWA PARA SA PANGALAWANG ASAWA,

AT PINDUTIN ANG TATLO KUNG MAYROON KAYONG MAIRE-REKOMENDA!"



MADAM LOI'S SECRET

Erap to Loi: Wow ang bango mo ngayon ah! Ano'ng gamit mong pabango?

Loi: Secret!!!

Erap: Secret? Di ba pinapahid yun sa kili-kili?





Erap Joke The Beginning

Once, Erap and Dra. Loi went dining in a classy restaurant. Since Erap likes to show off to his wife, their conversation went like this:

Erap: O, saan tayo kakain?

Loi: Sa japanese restaurant sa Ayala, masarap doon!

Erap: Ah, oo. Doon sa kwan, sa kung saan merong buffet (actually, he pronounced it as BUFF-FETT)

Loi: (Correcting him) Dear, hindi buff-fett...buffet

Erap: Ah, okay.... sorry.

By this time, they had already stopped in front of the restaurant. They got out and had a good time.

Erap: Aah, saraaap. Teka, natatandaan mo ba yung valet na kumuha ng kotse natin? (Again, he pronounced the word erratically, as VA-LETT)

Loi: Dear, valet, hindi va-lett.

Erap: Sige na, sige na... Magbayad na tayo, akina yung WA-LEY ko!







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