ERAP JOKES RELIVED - 1

The charisma and sensibility of the Filipino have frequently been tickled by the perennial and funny jokes that is being associated with the most loved actor politician of his day, none other than the ever amusing President Erap. On this Blog you will find a number of jokes that is sure to bring back memories during your early high school or college days when much of these jokes are cracked!




ERAP WHILE ON VACATION IN SPAIN


One day, Erap was touring Spain. After his day's sightseeing, he stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's balls from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" Erap, though momentarily daunted when he learned the origin of the dish said, "What the hell, I'm on vacation! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving a day since there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to serve you this delicacy!" Early the next morning, Erap returned, placed his order and was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter promptly replied, "Si senor! Sometimes the bull wins."



SPELLING BEE


There was once a quiz bee held at Malacanang. The contestants were Erap, Morato, and Roco. All were pretty good and they all got the same points. Then came the tie-breaking question. The type of the question was fill in the blank and spell the answer.

The statement runs this way.

"Old McDonald had a _________."

The contestants immediately pushed the buzzer. Morato was the first so he was given the chance first.

Host: "Okey Mr. Morato, what is your answer?":

Morato: "Old McDonald had a Duck ?"

Host: "I'm sorry, but that's not the correct answer."

It was then Roco's chance.

Host: "Mr. Roco, what's do you think is the correct answer?"

Roco: " Old McDonald had a Farme (as in farm) sir?"

Host: "That's right Mr. Roco! Now, will you please spell 'farm'?"

Roco: " F-A-R-M-E!"

Host: "I'm sorry, but the spelling is wrong."

Then came Erap"s chance. If he spells it right, he'll win the contest!

Host: "Sir, will you now give us your answer ?"

Erap: "Sure! That's nothing!!"

His answer?

"Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O!"

Audience: YAIIKS!!




KILLED HIS WIFE

Why did Erap shoot his wife when he bought a house?


Because the contract read: "Execute all 3 copies together with your wife..."



ERAP'S INQUIRY

Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?

Operator: Just a minute sir...

Erap: Thank you! (klik).




MODERN INVENTION

Seated between a Japanese and German businessmen, ERAP listens to the two.

The German, talking in his native language, had on a headgear. The Japanese

asked the German "Kore wa des ka?...what is that?"

GERMAN: "Hiel...dezz iz nothing. It iz zee latest technology ien

Germany... the headsvone! I am talking to mine headquarters in

zee Berlin."

The Japanese, not to be outdone, also started talking in his native

language. The German asked him, "Vhat is dhat?"

JAPANESE: "Ano ne..kore wa is latest Japanes technology in Japan!

Have mic implant in tongue... and speaker in ear. I speak to office in Tokyo...neh."

ERAP, irked by the two other nationalities started to do a slow and

looong FART. "....GRRRRR, GRRRR..PUPURURUUUUTTTTUUUT!"

The two businessmen closing their noses say...."HORRIBLE, WHAT'S THAT SOUND??"

ERAP says proudly, "Ah that, that's nothing. I WAS ONLY SENDING A FAX!!







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