ERAP JOKES RELIVED - 2

ERAP IN SCHOOL

Classmate 1: What is 5 plus 4?

Erap: Eh di 9!

Classmate 2: What is 4 plus 5?

Erap: Gagaguhin mo pa ako eh binaligtad mo lang... eh di 6!



GATE CRASHING

During the past Olympic Games held in Spain, then Vice-President Erap, then President Ramos and then Speaker Joe deV were invited to attend. But their invitations lacked the passes they need to enter the Olympics area. Here goes the story:

Erap to FVR: Boss, pano to? Hindi tayo makakapasok!

Joe deV: Oo nga, ser.

FVR: No problem, boyzz.. Magpapanggap tayong mga athletes. So, humanap muna kayo ng mga props ninyo at magkita-kita tayo dito in 1 hour.

And so they all went away looking for the appropriate props. After one hour...

FVR: O, ano'ng dala ninyo? Ako may dalang pana, magpapanggap akong athlete sa Archery!

Joe deV: Ako may dalang flagpole, magpapanggap akong athlete sa pole vault!

FVR: O, Erap, ba't may dala kang barbed wire?

Erap: (Proudly) Athlete ako ng fencing!




Erap teaching his grandchild an Action Song

"Put your right feet on, put your left feet out."

Loi heard him and said "Dad, its foot."

Erap: "Sorry, okay foot your right feet in, foot your left feet out."



PRESIDENTIAL FAVORITES


Favorite Filipino:

Cory: Ninoy Aquino

Eddie: Andres Bonifacio

Erap: Casino Filipino



Favorite Campaign Jingle:

Cory: Tie a Yellow Ribbon

Eddie: La Bamba

Erap: Sha la la la



Favorite Movie:

Cory: Gandhi

Eddie: The Longest Day

Erap: Forrest Gump



Favorite Saying:

Cory: Hope for the best and God will do the rest

Eddie: When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

Erap: Life is like a box of chocolates



Favorite Poem:

Cory: The Road Not Taken

Eddie: Charge of the Light Brigade

Erap: Asong Mataba



Favorite Book:

Cory: Gone with the Wind

Eddie: War and Peace

Erap: Rin Tin Tin



Favorite Business Maxim:

Cory: Pile it high, sell it cheap

Eddie: Either lead, follow or get out of the way

Erap: Happy hour, 50 percent off



Favorite Beatles Song:

Cory: Let It Be

Eddie: Taxman

Erap: Help!



Favorite Latin Maxim:

Cory: Ora et labora

Eddie: Labora, labora, labora

Erap: Adora Guia, Perla, Nora, et cetera



Favorite Alibi:

Cory: I had a previous engagement

Eddie: I had a previous engagement

Erap: I had a "pressing" engagement




SOUNDS LIKE

While in a diplomatic mission, President Estrada, Former Presidents Cory and Eddie were invited to South America to speak on economic recovery. While they were being toured by their host, they were ambushed by terrorists. Luckily, they escaped into the nearby jungle. Here's how the story went...

"How are we going to get back now?" Cory asked in general. As usual, it was FVR who had the solution, being a military man, he is trained to think of fast alternatives.

"Let's try to walk in a straight line towards the sun, and sooner or later we will get to a village." he said. And so they walked. After a few hours of walking, they heard the cries of the terrorists hunting them. Somehow, they were seen and an ensuing chase began.

Suddenly, Erap had a bright idea. "Eddie! Cory! Magtago na lang muna tayo! Pagod na ako, eh!" he said panting.

"Good idea!" "Sige!" FVR and Cory said simultaneously. And they stopped and looked around for a place to hide. FVR saw the pond and lowered himself into it. Cory saw a thick clump of bushes and inserted herslef among the leaves. Erap, running out of ground-level hiding places, looked up and saw a tree with a lot of leaves.

"Aha! Makapal ang dahon! They will not see me here!" and so he climbed the tree.

Not a moment too soon, the terrorists burst into the area where they were standing scant moments ago. Of course they did not see anything, for the trio was very well hidden. Unfortunately, FVR sneezed.

"What's that!!?? Who's there!!!???" shouted one of the terrorists, pointing his gun around. FVR, thinking fast, imitated a frog.

"KOKAK, KOKAK," he said.

"Aah, it's just a frog," said the terrorist. At the same moment, Cory was bitten by an insect and let out a small cry.

"What's that!!?? Who's there!!!???" shouted the terrorist, pointing his gun around. Cory, not ready to be caught, imitated a duck.

"QUACK, QUACK!" she said.

"Aah, it's just a duck," said the terrorist, relaxing. Erap, meanwhile did not look for a suitable branch to hang on to, and soon he began to slip. Movement among the tree leaves alerted the terrorist.

"What's that!!?? Who's there!!!???" shouted the terrorist, pointing his gun upwards. Erap, following suit the examples of his comrades, said,

"MOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


DURING CALIFORNIA'S QUAKE

Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the
Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.
Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something...
Erap: Ay sh*t! Yung wristband ko!



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