ERAP JOKES RELIVED - 5

Erap in Library

What time does the library open? Erap on the phone asked.

Nine A.M. came the reply. And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?

Not until nine A.M.? Erap asked in a disappointed voice.

No, not till nine A.M.! the librarian said.

Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?

Ha, who said I wanted to get in?’ Erap sighed sadly. I want to get out!




ANOTHER EXAMPLE

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?

ERAP: Carabao, ma’am! Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?

ERAP: How about another Carabao?





IT HAPPENED IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

Erap: Doctor! Doctor! I swallowed a bone
Doctor: Are you choking?
Erap: No, I’m serious!!!




While in A Drugstore

Erap: I’d like some vitamins for my Grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap: It does matter, cause he can’t read yet!!!



While in a Prayer Vigil

Erap: Bro. Mike, can prostitute be saved?
Bro. Mike: Siyempre!
Erap: Sige, I-save mo ako para sa Sabado nights, ayos!




While in a Pizzeria

Erap: What are your specialties?
Waiter: Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Erap: Talaga?, bigyan mo ang ako ng Shakeys!!




CALLING ON U.P

Erap calling U.P. Diliman:
Erap: Hello! Is this Diliman?
Operator; No, this is Padre Faura!
Erap: I’m sorry father, wrong number!!!



While hailing a taxicab somewhere

Erap: Magkano papuntang San Juan?
Driver: Ikaw lang bang mag-isa?
Erap: Bakit, di ka ba sasama?




LOOK ALIKE

Chinggoy: Dad, sabi nila pagnakaharap ako kamukha ko si Jose Rizal, pag-nakaside view kamukha ko naman si Manuel Roxas. Anong ibig sabihin non dad?

Erap: Mukha kang PERA.




ALL ABOUT THE ECONOMY

Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: ‘Mr. President, what can you say about the economy?’

Erap: I don’t know, kasi nasa first class ako...Toinnks!